Disclaimer: The Southern Vampire Series, and all characters from it, is owned by Charlaine Harris. The original characters and plot from my fan fiction are mine. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
June 2013 - Updated
This story was originally published on 3/19/09. Any mistakes left are my own.
SOOKIE POV
The bathroom door flew open and Tara, who had stopped by the bar, stormed in. "Sookie, what's wrong? I saw you running in here and Sam was coming right behind you. What happened? Are you okay?"
My emotions overpowered me and I felt as if I was being hurled a million miles away. A sudden urge to hold on to Tara came over me and I held her, finally feeling anchored in place as I did so. My eyes watered, a lump formed in my throat, and I began to sob uncontrollably.
I felt some comfort in her embrace. It had been so long since I'd seen her last. I guessed her new marriage to JB kept her busy. Deep down inside, I was so jealous of her. The good, happy kind of jealous, though. That kind exists, right?
After I cried a bit, Tara asked me delicately, "Sookie, please tell me what's wrong. Did Sam do something to you?"
I started up with the waterworks again. "Oh, God, no! Tara, it was me!" I yelled between sobs. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep getting all these images of Eric, naked in my head, and . . . and I don't know why, but when Sam got close to me . . . I touched him."
"What?" Tara asked in disbelief. "You've been having naughty thoughts about Eric, the vampire? And you touched Sam? Where exactly did you touch Sam?"
I wiped my tears away and fought to control myself. "Oh, Tara! I feel terrible. I touched him . . . there. You know. On his . . . you know." I pointed my finger below Tara's waist and she raised an eyebrow in response. I thought she would've reacted a bit more surprised, but instead she just reached over and handed me a tissue so I could blow my nose.
"Okay, Sookie, okay. It's not the end of the world. I bet Sam didn't mind one bit. Why, I bet he thinks it's one of the best days of his life." Tara chuckled at the shocked expression on my face.
"Jeez, Tara! I'm glad you're finding the situation so amusing. I mean how am I going to face Sam? I work with him; he's my boss." I blew my nose and fought down the lump in my throat.
Tara chuckled even louder. "Well, I used to work here, too, you know. Back then, Sam and I had a little arrangement. Don't you remember? And it didn't bother my work one bit."
"What do you mean, arrangement? I thought you two were dating." I had calmed down some and threw the used tissue in the trash.
"Dating? Ah, no, Sookie. We were both alone at the time and we agreed to have sex together—no strings attached—just until we found someone we liked. It was a good arrangement, at least for me." Tara smiled like a Cheshire cat.
"And Sam went along with this? I mean he was okay with just being used? No love, just sex for pleasure?" I found Sam's involvement in something so sordid hard to believe. I could really see this being more of a Tara thing since I remembered how she had been involved in that sex club with Eggs.
Thinking of that night at the sex club brought another image of Eric upon me. This time we were on top of his Corvette, his body on mine, and he whispered to me, "Yield to me, Sookie. Yield to me." Just thinking about the sensation of Eric's hardness on my body made me push Tara aside and splash some more cold water on my neck.
"Well, of course he went along with it. But after a while, we just ended our arrangement. It was good while it lasted. And no, we weren't using each other. We were just filling a basic human need. We were . . . what's the term they use now? Oh yes, fuck buddies."
Fuck buddies – what? That sounds horrible. "Oh Tara, I don't know; that doesn't sound romantic at all." I could see my words had hit a nerve as Tara's body stiffened.
"Oh, and I suppose what you have with Eric is going somewhere? Last time I checked, I didn't see a ring on your finger."
Of course, she just had to throw that at me. I felt as if I had been slapped into reality. Of course, that's what I'd been to Eric. His F buddy, and stupid me, once again I fooled myself into thinking a vampire could care for me.
Perhaps this was why Eric hadn't come to see me. He had gotten what he wanted from me and since he had no use for my "gift," there was no reason to see me.
But wait, wasn't there more? Eric showered me with gifts which were thoughtful and considerate, and he was always there for me. I remembered how he had showed up in disguise that time at Club Dead. He was looking out for me—wasn't he?
I felt so confused and leaned on the bathroom wall for support.
Tara immediately sensed the pain her comment brought me. "I'm sorry, Sookie. I shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's okay, Tara. God, I am so stupid. I'm always falling for these stupid vampires. First, it was Bill and what a mistake that was; he fed me nothing but lies. And now I'm up to my elbows with Eric. I really did think things were different with him since we were bonded. I thought I meant more to him. I . . . I guess I wanted to mean more to him," I finished in almost a whisper.
Tara squeezed my hand to comfort me.
"Tara, why do I always get it so wrong? Is there a way to make a man see you for more than an F buddy?" I made a face as the word came forth from my lips.
Tara relaxed again. "Why are you asking me this? Remember Sam and I ended our arrangement. We never took it further than that."
"But you're married now. I mean how did you and JB know you wanted something more in your relationship?"
"Oh, I see. Well, yes. It can be possible for a woman, in this day and age believe it or not, to make a man see her for more than just for that."
"How?" I stared at her, impatient for her response.
"Well, in order to have a successful relationship, you need to have lots of chemistry, great communication, and a deep respect and love for each other."
Whoa, when did Tara get so wise?
"Obviously, if you are having sex, the chemistry is there. You just have to work on finding things in common with him. Talk with him, do things that make you indispensable to him, and pretty soon he'll realize he can't live without you."
"But, Tara, Gran always used to say, 'Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?' I mean if you were already giving the guy all the sex he wants, would he even care to get to know you, and take the relationship into something deeper?"
"Oh, Sookie. These are different times. And by the way, you picked a good time to remember your Gran, after how many times Eric has milked you now?"
Tara smiled and I soon followed. Our smile then turned into laughter. "Oh, Sookie. So you are in love with Eric. Is that what's bothering you?"
"In love with Eric? Well, I . . . I . . . "
"Oh, don't work yourself up, Sookie. You'll admit your feelings for him when the time is right. Right now, your problem is that you want to elevate yourself from being more than a how do you say it . . . an F buddy, right?"
"Yes, I suppose so."
"Well, another way to make a man realize they can't live without you is by giving them competition. You know, make him jealous."
"Of course. When I was with Bill and Quinn, Eric would chase me shamelessly. Now that I don't seem to have anybody, he's stayed away for three weeks."
"Three weeks! Sookie you have got to act fast, girl. Three weeks is a long time—for a vampire—I mean. They have to feed daily and who knows from what or whom Eric has been getting his "food" from all this time."
"Yeah . . ." I crossed my arms and leaned on the counter, lost in my thoughts.
"Sookie, are you really gonna sit around and wait 'till Eric comes into the bar with another girl, like Bill did?"
I snapped up and straightened my shoulders back.. "Oh, God, no! I can't let that happen. I know I have to do something. Thanks for talking to me, Tara."
"Hey, no problem. Just go out there and talk to Sam. Tell him you are acting crazy because you are on your period. Whenever you give that excuse to men for anything, they just take it and don't ask. It'll be okay; you'll see. C'mon, this is Sam we are talking about."
I nodded.
"Unless you want to make an arrangement with him like I did? I'm sure he'd be thrilled about it."
"Tara!" We both began to chuckle and after I cleaned up my face, we exited the Ladies' room.
I was dreading having to see Sam standing right outside the bathroom door, but thankfully he was nowhere in sight. I got Tara her order and slowly but surely, the dinner crowd started coming into Merlotte's.
By six thirty, the sun had already gone down and Merlotte's had a full house. As soon as Tara stood up to leave, there were several people fighting for her booth, and I knew it was going to be an interesting night. Since we were so busy, Sam was expected to be at the bar or around the tables to make sure everything was running smoothly, but Sam was hiding out in his office, leaving Terry in charge of the place.
My shields were all the way up as it was hard to concentrate on my job with such a large crowd of people around me. But, it was turning out to be a good Friday night, and I kept busy waiting on tables and getting good tips.
By eight, I was getting pretty tired and I hadn't had a chance to take a seat for longer than a moment. No one was waiting to be seated and all my customers had been taken care of, so I leaned on the bar and told Terry I was taking a ten-minute break. He nodded and told me it was okay with him as long as I let Arlene know to spot check my tables while I was gone. I quickly spoke to Arlene, and made my way to the back break room.
As I walked to the employee lounge, I got curious to see what Sam was doing. Since he hadn't emerged from his office, I felt guilty for what I'd done to him. I knew I had to talk to him and let him know how sorry I was, at least to clear the air between us so we wouldn't have an awkward time around each other.
With a steel resolve, I knocked on his door.
"Come in," Sam said in a solemn voice. When I opened the door, Sam was sitting in his chair facing the wall.
I gulped. What the hell am I going to say?
A/N: Sorry this one had no lemony goodness, but I am making it up to you in the next chapter!
A/N2: Just a slight deviation from the books in this chappie – I integrated TB Tara with SVM Tara – since SVM Tara never had a relationship with Sam. Just a slight addition. *giggles* Thanks!
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